Crazed Baboons 

"Let's be wacky, original, and cutting-edge!  Let's take an ultra-forceful extreme adjective and match it with an unpredictable and aggressive animal!"  Lame.

Gang Green

 Oh, I get it - they're a gang, and they wear green.  Clever!   And when you say it fast, it's what happens to missionaries and drug addicts when their arms and legs start to rot and have to be cut off.  Based on their record, it's obvious a few of these amputees must play on the team…

Ironheads

 We're told this is the name of a clothing company.  Sounds to us like an apt description of the penalty-addicted, suspension-happy, alcoholic, and chronically short-benched could-a-beens that make up this sorry-ass team.

 This is the title of:

A)      a roller hockey team

B)      a film about an angst-laden scooter gang from upstate Pennsylvania 'just looking for respect.'

C)      A 1950's sitcom about the wacky antics of happy-go-lucky American GIs in a WW2 Nazi prison camp.

D)      Something lame.

Rage Against the Maroon

 This one's my favourite - it's clever and fun; like using a sling shot to feed porridge to your grandfather.

Red Wings

 "And the award for the 'We're too stupid/lazy/stoned to think beyond NHL hockey team names' category goes to…"

The Celestial Panthers

 I'm still literally wetting my pants over this one.  Brilliant - they've managed to take a formidable creature and combine it with the most inane and fluffy adjective possible. Who's your starting line - Jem and the Holograms?  "They're not just panthers, folks - they're panthers, from the stars!"'  Oh man, it's running down my leg and onto the floor as we speak!

The Clamdiggers

 You know, I'm trying to picture some guy in big rubber boots on a beach somewhere with a shovel, but I keep getting this other clam-related image in my mind…  In any case, neither have much to do with hockey, so I'm still confused.  Therefore, it's stupid.

The Enforcers

Are you trying to you picture some ominous post-apocalyptic comic book cyborg-warrior on inline skates ready to do battle and wreak havoc on all who stand in his way?  Funny, all I see is an overweight meter maid with acne at the local Tim Horton's ticketing cars before her coffee break…

The Mudskippers

 It was funny the first time - when it was a character on the Ren and Stimpy show.  But Ren and Stimpy aren't cool any more - and neither are you. 

The Predators

 "And runner up for the 'We're too stupid/lazy/stoned to think beyond NHL hockey team names' category is…"

 Rule #143 - If you're gonna be mindless and bite an NHL team name, at least pick a team that isn't isht!

The Primetime Playas

 Let's play Jeopardy!

 Alex Trebek: The name of this hockey team symbolizes the essence of the term 'gay,' in all ways except for the associated homophobic connotations.

Me:  What is Primetime Playas?

Alex Trebek: Congratulations, you are the Jeopardy Champion of the Universe.  My work is done - I will now kill myself."

The Rollers

 "Hey guys - let's call ourselves the rollers, 'cuz we play roller hockey, and our wheels roll, and we like to roll over the other teams, and…" 

 This is so fromage it actually makes having an NHL team name more appealing.

The Smoke

In it's attempt to be intimidating and forceful, this team name instills about as much terror and foreboding as a mall security guard. 

 Oh wait - The Rollers, The Smoke… I get it. 

 You're all under arrest.

The Wraiths

 Did you honestly think it'd be cool to name your team after evil characters from Lord of the Rings?   Here's some tips, gents - this name sucks, girls AREN'T icky, and it isn't cool to play Dungeons and Dragons on the bench.

Vaughan Rockets

 This is a pretty cool name - if you're twelve.  And what's this "Vaughan" business? "Houston, we have a problem - some town in Canada that's really a neighbourhood outside of Toronto with a Home Depot and 5 Burger Kings is using the name of our football team."

Vaughan Thunder

 Thunder - n) a lot of noise with nothing to show for it.

 Perfect.

Weapon X

Damn - I just changed my shorts after that whole Celestial Panther schtick, and now this?  I think I saw an ad for the Weapon X 2001on the home shopping channel last night - it's a vacuum or something, right?  Here's a tip, boys: using the letter X in conjunction with ANYTHING went out with mushroom haircuts, yellow 5.0 litre Mustangs, and wine coolers.  The only "mystery" here is what particular solvents you snorted when you thought of this name…