The Rollers

Big Start, No Heart? These guys look pretty good, with a healthy mix of youth and veteran talent. But the egos and different playing styles of these players on this "stacked" team makes for entertaining dialogue (if you're a fan sitting behind their bench), and could be the eroding factor when their opponents start to get their sea legs later in the season. They're good now - but everyone else will get better as the season wears on. Look for these guys in the finals, if they haven't peaked already.

McKenny's Kings

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? If goaltender Trevor McKenny falls to shoulder surgery, does his team stand a chance? Is new goalie Brent Moore up to the challenge? And while we're asking... will leading scorer Blair Wetzel go a game without auditing the scoresheet for statistics? One thing we do know - with Darren Thompson's wedding plans now over, he won't have to miss any games this summer to work on the seating arrangements for any receptions... "Whush-Pish!"

The River Rats

Remember these dudes? After laying low for a couple of years, the Rats have made their return to GTI. So far their start has been slow - it looks like Father Time, Colonel Sanders, and Captain Morgan had a pajama party at their house over the winter, and haven't left yet. But don't underestimate these guys - when they are firing on all pistons, they are one of the best teams in the city (of course, that was back when having a mullet actually helped to score chicks). Still - I think that when crunch time comes, they'll be there.

Red Wings

Perhaps you got the special on these guys on FOX TV - "When Soccer Hooligans Play Roller Hockey." Actually, these guys are a pretty solid team, with a good balance of offense and defense - though their physical play can become a distraction. But I guess you'd better be tough if yer gonna go around this town with a Red Wing flag on your antenna... final two, if they don't face the Rollers before the finals.

Rage

Me: - Once upon a time a team of free agents decided that they were as good as any other team out there - and for a while, it looked like they might be right. But then, all those other teams woke up, and decided to crush them like grapes.

Some annoying squirt: - "How does this story end, Unky Splinters?"

Me: - "Well kid, do you like grape juice?..."

I dunno - I can't shake the feeling O' doom hanging over this squad....

Wildcats

Former ex-pats from the Beach league, these boys from Bolton may have bitten off a little more than they can chew. The lesson here folks - not all A divisions are created equal! But a team playing for pride is like a wounded cougar protecting her babies - she may be dying, but she'll have no problem takin' a swipe at your johnson on her way out...

Predators

Those pesky Preds appear to be pissed off and professing a predetermined priority to produce penalties, not points. This inappropriate preoccupation will preclude them from victories, a predicament which portends poor playoff performance.

trans: - More goals, less grab and gab boys - and you might pull it off...

Clamdiggers

The key when setting any targets or goals is to be realistic. It's okay to aim for the sky, reach for the top, and all that crap - but once the arm cramps start setting in, there's no shame in bendin' those elbows a bit and grabbing something at eye level - something lik say, winning a game or two, or averaging more than 3 goals a game...

Toronto Hockey Repair

A solid team - now all they need is 5 or 6 more players, and they'll be set! The ones who show up are getting it done - but those games are long when the only thing you see on the bench is some empty water bottles and a pool or two of vomit... They should compete, if they can get a few more players out.