Well, I gotta give credit where credit is due - the boys at GTI seemed to be prepared for this strike bulls**t, and it looks like things are gonna truck along right on schedule with nary a glitch. Only catch is that the games will now be about 500 f***ing miles away from where we normally play! Still - hockey far away is better than none at all. And our list proves it... 10. Vic Johnson's is a hockey-players' rink - complete with curved wooded ceilings, cheezy local-yocal board ads, and mouldering championship banners all over the place. They even have bitter, grumpy arena managers who've been working their since back in the day when it was used as a temporary munitions factor versus The Big War... 9. Streetsville is the home of the Bread and Honey Festival. How can you not respect a town that holds a parade and weekend long celebration over spreading sugary bee crap on bread? 8. There's about 14 local pubs within spittin' distance of the pad - and we're told at least half of the regulars still have all their own teeth (men AND women)... 7. You will actually be able to tell friends and family - with a straight face - that you played hockey "down by the river." 6. Vic Johnson is home of the Streetsville Derbys Junior B team. Good karma maybe... Actually no, they suck too (just like you). 5. You drive right by the new Krispy Kreme doughnut shop that your annoyingly overweight and socially retarded co-workers have been orgasming about for the past 9 months. Yeah, that's what you fat asses need - more doughnuts... F*** they're good though... 4. There's a brook that meanders through town called Mullet Creek. MULLET Creek (I swear to God, folks). If that ain't destiny for half of you mouth-breathers, I don't know what is... 3. After hockey, you and Ginny Mae kin' take yer papa's Ford and head over to the brick factory at the edge of town, and watch the fresh bricks come out and be loaded on flat-beds destined for strange and exotic locales (like Richmond Hill, Oshawa, or Hamilton). 2. Ginny Mae might even let yah unbutton her blouse when yer making out! But be careful, 'cuz her Daddy's Sherriff Phil McCrackin - and ever since yer daddy stole yer momma away from him at the Prom, McCrackin's had it in for him and all his kin! 1. Stop bitching - you're out of the house playing hockey with your buds - who the f*** CARES where it is! In all seriousness - and yes, sometimes I can be serious - Streetsville is a great town, and was actually home to that jackass James (the slick GTI guy who never returns your calls) for seven years. George Araujo and the guys at the Mississauga Roller Hockey League deserve a big 'THANKS' for helping us in a pinch - so show some respect and don't trash the place, awwight? |